The Second Beginning

 Where did this all start? Well in 2001, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Marlon D, Bradford, my late then husband found a research neurologist who set me up in a MS research trial for Antagren now named Tysabri. I did well and when the trial was over, I had been receiving the drug. On the market for over 20 years, I'm still on it, which now is called a disease modifying therapy (DMT), albeit some roadblocks along the way. I have done great for most of the past twenty years, and I am utterly grateful to have lived the life I wanted thanks to the DMT.  In 2019, my MS health declined. I did my best and got a new job that worked with my disabilities. Eventually, I became a high risk for falling. It was more of a joke early on in my illness when I wrote my one woman play, How Do You Slip On A Banana Peel Gracefully? I joked I had a business card that said,"I fall down for living." Recently, after three major falls: a broken wrist, a fractured spine, and a displaced tooth and another chipped tooth in 13 months time, I knew something had to change. Marlon had died--as an ex-husband he had remained supportive--and my daughters graciously offered to take care of me. I was used to living alone and quite independent. Somehow, I had managed to take care of myself. I had become a featured poet in the San Francisco Bay Area and continued with my writer's group, B Street Writers Collective, through the worst of the pandemic. I had also started a micro publishing company, MoonShine Star Co. I was essentially happy with my life. To give up my independence was a difficult decision. My mobility issues were a problem. My chronic fatigue took my life away--75% of my energy went towards working 20 hours a week. I knew deep down I could no longer live alone. I needed help with the basic things like cleaning house and laundry. There were many pros and cons to accepting help from my daughters--the best was spending time with my grandchildren. Financial issues had become insurmountable and I didn't realize how much stress I was under. I needed my daughters' assistance to get by. Finally, I said, "Yes" when my one daughter invited me to come stay with her until some of my financial issues were resolved. As an ex-wife widow, I was waiting for Social Security benefits from my deceased ex-husband. Upon saying yes, it was a two week time-frame which started my New Adventure. I didn't have closure on all of my outstanding matters. I didn't say goodbye to almost all my friends. I did manage to say goodbye to my mother and father, although it was bittersweet. Letting go has been a terrible process and I think it will take time to deal with it all. Though I'm progressing. I've always tried to continue my positive outlook on life, thus My New Adventure Second Time Around.